LILT

a manifesto of character

I am the flick of the hand
that initiates a card trick-

The lilt of the fingers.

I am not the fingers,

but I am the lilt.

I know who I am

but not who I want to be-

I am sometimes strong,

but sometimes soft,

like melting butter.

I am brave…

I strive to not only

speak boldly,

but act boldly to match.

A single page changed me-

I am a girl who plays war

at the lunch table, 

I am the girl

who bets on the 

stack of cards 

in her hand

because

I believe 

that I’ve got nothing 

to lose

I am a person

who will play harp for

six years

suddenly buy a guitar

drop the harp and play guitar instead…

I know who I am now…

and I want to be her

for the rest of my life.

I want people to respect her

learn from her,

and listen to her,

because she is all I have

and though she isn’t much,

I build on her

and I work with her-

we are the same,

we are different.

I want to restrain her,

she is so wildly free…

I am cautious, I am

often

an unwitting sidekick.

She is like a ride-

twisting,

turning,

jumping,

running across the tracks

click, click, click…

and I am growing into her,

because I was small,

I was quiet,

she is in charge of people

and has the ability to mean business.

She is the adrenaline

pumping through me-

she begins, now, to make my decisions.

She cut my hair,

she pierced my ear.

I am her,

and she is me.

I’m not even sure anymore.

Is she the track,

and I’m the train, loyally falling behind?

or is she the train, 

jumping ahead?

In the end, the tracks control the train

so she

must be

the track.